Sometimes you just have to say no

It’s the most wonderful time of the year and the most stressful. Forty-four percent of people say that they are stressed during the holidays, with more than 18% reporting that they’re “very stressed.” The stress has increased significantly throughout the pandemic, with many lost loved ones, income, and some lost their way of life from being isolated in quarantine off and on since March 2020. Although many people are experiencing more problems than cheer during this holiday season, here are some tips to make your upcoming holiday merrier and brighter. 1. Set boundaries with others and with yourself. Sometimes setting boundaries can be difficult, especially with the ones we love. Boundaries are important for us to establish, and it’s never too late to implement them. Boundaries show people how to love and respect us.

2. Engage only in uplifting or light conversations at family gatherings. Avoid topics that may cause arguments. You can simply tell people, “I’m happy to talk about (blank) another time; right now I just want us to enjoy each other.”

3. Create a budget and stick to it. Many people go into debt during the holidays. Don’t go into the new year with even more financial stress. Maintain a Christmas savings account throughout the year. Also, many people purchase gifts throughout the year to not overspend as the big day gets closer. Remember, the true meaning of Christmas is not about gifts or how much you spend.

4. Place limits on gift-giving to family, friends and children. It might not be fiscally responsible or possible for you to buy everyone a gift or spend an excessive amount on gifts. Don’t forget about Secret Santa and other events that may require you to buy another gift for someone. You do not have to participate if you don’t want to. Don’t feel obligated to get everyone you know a gift. Don’t give in to the pressure to follow social media trends. Analyze your budget and give accordingly. Remember that your love is not equal to how much money you are spending.

5. Don’t go places where you feel uncomfortable. Even if the whole family is going, that doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself to an unhealthy or toxic environment. Just don’t go. You will be much happier being at home or spending your holiday with people who make you feel welcomed, safe and at peace.

6. Do something different. A lot of people get bored with the same old yearly traditions. Some of these traditions can even bring on depression as we grieve those who are no longer with us and may have been a big part of those particular traditions. Try to go out of town to a new destination, incorporate a new activity or game from the norm, eat out or hire a caterer instead of cooking.

7. Ask for help. Holiday blues and seasonal depression are very real issues that can turn into long-term major depression or lead to suicidal ideation if left untreated. Sometimes, we need more than just a vent session with our family and friends. Seek help from a licensed mental health professional who will give you an unbiased and educated perspective and provide you with the tools necessary to guide you through the ups and downs that may make it harder to enjoy the holidays. It’s important to know that there will always be some level of stress in our lives. However, if you develop healthy coping tools, set boundaries and build a positive support system, you will minimize the intensity of these stressors and triggers as they come. If you or someone you know is struggling mentally this holiday season, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255. There are many online platforms available to help you find a therapist or counselor near you, including: - PsychologyToday.com - GoodTherapy.org - TherapyForBlackGirls.com - InclusiveTherapists.com Have a safe and happy holiday season! Source citation: Moss, Jennifer. “Holidays Can Be Stressful. They Don’t Have to Stress Out Your Team.” Harvard Business Review, 18 December 2018, https://hbr. org/2018/12/holidays-can-be-stressful-they-dont-have-tostress-out-your-team. Accessed 4 December 2021.

Jessica Latin, MA, LPC-S, NCC, PMH-C - gratis clinical instructor of psychiatry and behavioral medicine, LSU Health Shreveport