The final stretch of high school

It’s that time of year again: Time for families to transition into the rigors of back-to-school. However, parents of incoming juniors and seniors in high school may face more complicated issues with this year’s return to school. Their students could be wrapping up formal education and entering the workforce or finishing the end of a level of education that is hopefully preparing them for other levels of school and training, including college, vocational-technical training or the military. Decisions and choices made in this final stretch of high school could very well influence the success, progress and prosperity of the student for years to come. This process can have varying intensity levels for families and sometimes feel all-consuming.

Each student brings unique strengths, abilities, personalities, interests, goals and competencies. During this process, it is helpful for those unique qualities to shine. This is an opportunity for the student to take responsibility and excel. Comparatively, parental involvement and expectations can impact the intensity of the decision-making process, sometimes projecting their own desires onto the student. “Senioritis” may also appear, and the motivation and focus of the student in the final months of school may wane. Even the most resolute students can be affected by the willingness to do meaningful schoolwork and the next steps required to launch them into their next chapter.

Parents often feel frustrated with the need for more knowledge of how the process works and may also recognize differences in interest levels between themselves and their students.

Parents may also need clarification about their role in helping manage the stress of the journey. Finding the balance between helicopter parents and helpful parents can be hard to find without alienating the student. Allowing the student to exert their independence while offering guidance along the way is essential. They may feel overwhelmed and anxious, typical for someone experiencing a task of this magnitude. Despite this, allow them to take the lead. Validate the student’s decision-making abilities. Let them know that you believe in them and empower them to take ownership of their future.

One area in which parents can be helpful is in administrative tasks. Work together to get organized and communicate about deadlines and to-do lists. Starting these conversations early on can alleviate stress when the deadlines are quickly approaching. Additionally, certain levels of further education require standardized admission testing. Discuss options for a prep course or even tutoring with your student if it is financially feasible for the family. Acknowledging and recognizing the student’s goals and motivation in this process is essential before investing in these additional services.

While parents may have decades of wisdom to share, they should be aware that they may not know everything about this transition – that is OK. Acting as a sounding board, being ready to listen and being available to talk can help make this transition less stressful.

Take advantage of the resources available for guidance in this process. If needed, allowing guidance counselors to provide pressure and tough love can help the parents remain supportive.

Research and develop a list of schools within a specific geographic region and an appropriate financial limit for the students, considering TOPS (the Taylor Opportunity Program for Students in Louisiana) and scholarship opportunities. Consider the degree programs offered and visit the campuses together if time and resources permit. Encourage the student to do internal searching, even dreaming, about possibilities. This encouragement may provide the incentive needed to motivate them to engage more in their future and finish their high school career.

Discuss finances openly and honestly so that the student knows the cost of further education and training and the cost of living required if they plan to dive into full-time work. Parents should also educate themselves about the financial aid process. Create a hypothetical financial plan together to determine the potential impact. Students can experience emotions driven by expectations, joys and disappointments. Support them throughout all the ease and difficulties. Even though it can be stressful, it can be an opportunity for parents and students to grow closer while working to help them learn skills to take the next chapter.

Parents are beginning to understand that the complexion of the relationship that has developed for almost two decades is changing.

The child who was once a baby is growing up faster than expected. Normalize the evolving emotions and be open and honest about these feelings. Students will eventually appreciate the candid conversation and care. Celebrate proudly the independence and maturity developed in the student over the years.

Ann M. Inabnet, LPC-S, LMFT, NBCC, MA, MBA, is a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral health and a student counseling center counselor at LSU Health Shreveport.